FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Bozeman, MT -- April 1, 2019 -- In space, everyone will be able to hear you scream with Pulsara’s newest venture: Spaceara – Pulsara for Space! Don’t worry, Pulsara - now dubbed "Pulsara Earth" - will still be available as we continue to work towards universe domination through united teams.
“The decision to work with NASA’s Moon to Mars program was an easy one,” said Pulsara President, Dale Pearson. “I’ve always had my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds. I hoped I’d be involved with a product that would make it to space. Now, I am.”
Pulsara took a page on what not to do from Armageddon. Instead of trying to train our team to become astronauts, we trained the astronauts to use Pulsara, which was extremely easy since they’re all brilliant…and Pulsara is so simple to use. “But, cell phones? In space? Won’t they float away?” Don’t worry, we clearly thought about that! Working closely with NASA, we’ve created a special arms comm band that’s fitted directly into the astronauts’ suits. Similar to the app, they simply tap which module they need to use and, with the aid of a hidden stylus pen, communicate away.
Features of the solution include:
* Alien Attack©️ – This feature does NOT stop Aliens, but notifies the team of an alien attack. Oh, and astronauts can video chat with their crew while fleeing/fighting. Your Instagram feed will DOMINATE your friends' when you post screen captures of your crew battling those feisty extraterrestrials.
* Peaceful Alien©️ – It’s kinda rude for us to assume aliens are going to automatically try and kill us. Peaceful Alien calmly alerts the team of alien contact, so they know to come out in peace and not guns a' blazin’.
* Alien Friend or Foe©️ - How will you know? Spaceara uses a proprietary new photo ID system to help you identify what kind of martian you might be dealing with! Simply hold your device's photo lens up to the Alien, and wait for our diagnosis to populate on the screen. *NOTE: Pulsara is not liable for any bodily injuries, decapitations, abductions, captures, or any other adverse effects that may be associated with a mis-categorization of alien type. See full EULA for additional terms and definitions.*
* Space Sickness©️ – We get it: Low gravity can be a little hard on the ol' gut. This handy feature lets the crew know they need to stay away from the splash zone.
* Green-O-Vision©️ – Until that greenhouse is up and running, seeing red all the time might be a little wearing. Green-o-Vision turns the harsh, rocky, red landscape of Mars into a virtual oasis of preloaded greenery from Montana, Hawaii, the rain forest, and more, with sounds included to help with any Earth-sickness you’re experiencing. Ahhh, feels like home!
* Help, I’m Hurt©️ – Though space has less gravity, making falls and certain other traumas less impactful, people will ALWAYS find a way to hurt themselves. Help, I'm Hurt©️ lets all other Spaceara users in your area know to respond. See who's on call, and who's responding to alerts (for those times when you'd rather suffer through the pain than see Doctor HomosapienEater).
“These solutions are just the start for Spaceara. We won’t really know what’s needed until they get up there. But, for now, the space crew has an awesome comms tool,” said Pulsara Chief Technology Officer, Erich Hannan. Of working with NASA, Pulsara Lead QA Engineer (and co-creator of Pulsara Earth’s app alerts), Brian Crumrine stated, “Getting to work with NASA engineers and the crew to create sounds for each module was a dream I never knew I had. They had great ideas and some cool space sounds we were able to use and combine with music. I even use some of them for my own Funk band!”
While people aren’t heading to Mars until 2023, Spaceara will be used by NASA during routine space missions beginning next month, and its use is also planned for the colonization of the Moon.
“Obviously, this is an otherworldly win for Pulsara and Spaceara. Being the first communication technology of our kind to partner with NASA and be used IN SPACE was a venture we never thought possible,” said James Woodson, Pulsara Founder & CEO.
The future of space force communications is Spaceara. 🖖